Nikki

So I'm going out of order but I want to throw in the reason behind my blog - my girls. Here is a brief intro to them.

Nikki aka BrieAnna Nicole Ginger 2/13/04-2/14/04

Yes. You read that right. I had a one day old daughter. She passed from birth defects. I didn't know. I had every stupid test and no one knew. I had her at 38 weeks. She was 4 lbs 5 oz 16 in long. There are baby dolls bigger than she was. I remembered it snowed the day she died. We were at the Chapel Hill children's hospital. I didn't even realize it was Valentine's day until the ride home. Have you ever lost a child? I don't recommend it. It sucks and is the worst possible pain. Don't sit there and tell me it hurts like losing a relative, sibling, spouse or parent. It's not. Your family member had a life. My daughter did not. Am I still bitter about it? Oh yeah. I still get panic attacks when it comes up on her birthday or angelversary. I have to stay sedated the week leading up to those dates. We do balloon releases. Sucks more for my mom though considering they share a birthday.

I'll add photos later.